


Why Not Smile As We Say Goodbye?

by Liza_Taylor



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bernadetta von Varley Needs a Hug, Break Up, Character Study, Drabble, F/M, FE3H Kinkmeme, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza_Taylor/pseuds/Liza_Taylor
Summary: "Said it’s over now, so why is it you look likeYou’re more hurt than meYou said goodbye but cry so sadly"~~~~~~~~Sylvain makes a mistake that costs him his relationship.FE3H Kinkmeme Fill
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier & Bernadetta von Varley, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12
Collections: Horny Void





	Why Not Smile As We Say Goodbye?

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the 3H Kink[Meme](https://3houseskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/476.html?thread=1275356#cmt1275356)
> 
> Prompt: Inspired by anonmeme discussion, I'd love a fill where Sylvain cheats on someone he deeply loves and it actually destroys the relationship. They don't get back together, they don't work through it, the other person is deeply hurt and betrayed and leaves.
> 
> I'm not looking for character bashing, more like character study. It's easy to pretend that getting a paired ending fixes everyone's problems, but people don't work like that, and I'd love a fill that looks at the possibility of Sylvain only realizing just how badly he's screwed up after he's destroyed something he can't fix.
> 
> Open to literally any pairing option, though his paired ending options might be best for this.  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> I was listening to the Vocaloid song "Charles" and I thought of this prompt(which thankfully didn't have a fill yet). It was interesting to write a fic for if everything falls apart and is partly a character study but it was a good exercise I think!
> 
> "Charles" english lyrics are Jubyphonic’s version.

_ Yesterday will slowly fade away _

_ So then why not smile today one more time?  _

_ It’s okay _

* * *

“I think it’s better for us to break up Sylvain.”

Sylvain sat up in bed, Bernie’s words still echoing in his ears. He could still remember that day vividly in his mind, Bernie clutching her hands to her chest, tears pouring down her face as she said it. Her expression was a mixture of hurt and pain and instinctively all Sylvain wanted to do was hold her close and rub her arms while telling her that everything was going to be okay. He probably would have done it too if Dorothea didn’t have her arms protectively around Bernie, Ingrid right next to them, daring Sylvain to take a step forward.

He looked around his bedroom, all traces of Bernie gone. The little plants she left on the windowsill, the few stuffed animals that crept their way onto his bed, even the cute little embroidered pillows, gone. The only real piece of her that he had left was the croquet blanket she had made him for his birthday and he gathered it in his arms and rested it in his lap and ran his fingers along it.

He knew it was his fault that it turned out like this. Dorothea had made that clear when she had burst in the door, anger blazing in her eyes, Ingrid a few steps behind her with the same level of murder.

It all began when one of Sylvain’s old conquests arrived in town and contacted him. At first Sylvain was going to refuse, he was a changed man after all and he was in a committed relationship. However, she was tempting, reminding him of all the fun they had together, how Sylvain was the best thing that happened to her, that she needed the close comfort in the moment that only he could give her. How he wasn’t worth much unless he was with her.

In that moment Sylvain craved Bernie’s touch, her calming personality, anything to drive away the churning and swelling emotions that was welling inside of him. She wasn’t there though, she was on the other end of Fodlan and he couldn’t reach her anything soon. She couldn’t help him, the pain and anger and hurt overwhelming him to the point that he gave into the woman’s demands.

It was only once, just one moment of weakness but the guilt chewed away at him that he ended up telling Bernie what happened the next time she visited.

He could see how it broke her. Sweet Bernie who didn’t think much of herself and this cemented that she wasn’t good enough for him, she could never be enough for him that he needed to look to someone else to fill the void.

He didn’t know how Dorothea and Ingrid found out but at the same time he was glad. They would be able to take care of her, keep her safe. Even if he screwed up, he did care for her, she was the first girl that he really loved.

Sylvain bit his lip, a lump rising in his throat as he looked around his room, his fingers clutching the blanket tightly. He had focused on the guilt before, it masking everything else, but now it was really hitting him that Bernie had left with no intention of coming back. There would be no more nights of reading her writing, no more nights of them snuggling by the fire, no more trips to the local bookshops and botanical gardens, no more seeing her cute smile and pouts when she was annoyed with him.

He ran his fingers through his hair, the emotions welling in him uncomfortable. Guilt, pain, sadness and possibly anger. Anger at himself for being so stupid, for giving in even though he knew Bernie would not be okay with it.

He rubbed his eyes, his vision blurring, as he thought back to their final conversation. Her crying as she said they should break up. Why couldn’t she be smiling instead? Why couldn’t she be mad at him, throw stuff at him? Anything but tears. The itching stirred within him, he wanted to find someone, anyone to sleep with him, just to make these feelings go away, he couldn’t handle it.

He could go into town, there were plenty of brothels that were open-

He shook his head, the tears now free-falling. If he did that, he would be right back where he started, he would become the person again he had been trying so hard to break away from. He clutched the blanket tightly against his chest as he fell back on his bed. “I’m sorry Bernie,” he whispered into it. “I’m sorry.”

* * *

_ So why not smile as we say goodbye? _


End file.
